through a glass, darkly

i don't know myself in these moments
they have strung together to make time pass
and still i am a stranger to myself
i would turn to you to ask you who i am
in these moments where i float in pieces
how can one who is broken
form words that are together
and i don't know what i'm asking for

feeling like myself seems a small request
surely this wilderness has a bigger purpose
than for me to say 'i know myself'

it is stranger still to be hidden
among things that display themselves so brightly
to make you feel at home
like you can see yourself reflected
in their familiarity
and know you are real

something unseen has clouded the glass where i normally see myself
and i'm surprised
to discover that it's harder to believe that i'm real
when i can't see myself in something else