i'm still here

silence is on my mind.

the stillness of the lake made me wonder. the world is actually more beautiful in many ways when i'm just a spectator. it wants nothing, needs nothing and aspires to little besides god-given existence. what it made me wonder was what god was thinking when he added man to this breathtaking and completely serene planet. what i like to think is that god gently set us down here on a masterpiece to listen and to wait for the sounds of life and his voice.

my own life makes me wonder. i've been quieter than normal i think because i don't have many answers and i'm less sure of myself. i'm finding that i like it. i enjoy making time to be silent and the peaceful feeling that comes with not wanting to talk all the time. i also like that the less time i spend in my own way, the more god can be with me.

this book i'm reading is a wonder. invitation to solitude and silence. it likens our soul to a jar of river water that sits long enough to settle into something beautifully clear. the invitation is to be still long enough to face ourselves and let god meet us there, in the stillness the way we were made. and that's good for me because right now i don't feel like i can be anything but quiet.

i wonder at god being a quiet friend who waits for me to spend time with him
a distant lover who waits for me to notice him
a faithful father who waits for me to run to him
a gentle shepherd who waits for me to follow
a loving savior who waits for me to surrender