In a world of strangers
I feel little today. Little as in insignificant. I'm not totally convinced that I've ever felt significant in a lasting, life-changing sort of way.
Today it was brought on by reading other people's blogs. Strangers always seem like lively and adventurous creatures. They make the most out of life, they travel, they discover their calling, they change the world.
I feel like I will disappear in a world full of these people. My career path looks more like an overgrown trail in the jungle. If God has called me, I've been too busy singing to hear it. And if God has called me to sing, I've been too afraid to embrace it.
I'm not sure how I'll make a difference in the world. Life feels messy. I don't want to disappear. But mostly I just want to live in the life God has made for me, resting securely in the plans he has laid out. Being significant, being unique. Being just myself.
6 Comments:
for myself, i think that significance has been a choice. that's not to say that i haven't felt little or been in the presence of someone more significant than i, but it is important to use those occurrances to learn and to grow.
i think that instead of a focus on changing the world, you should figure out what you mean by the world. if you at all remember pinky and the brain, you could take a lesson and start by taking over the lab. it might help you feel bigger. and it might help you find a clear path.
ps. i appreciate all of the work you've put into the journey this year. i think you've done a great job and, God willing, your work will bear fruit in the near future.
Christine,
i know how you feel about disapearing into a world full of strangers and not making a differance in this world.
I'm not to sure whether you are still thinking about this or not cuzz it was like a month ago but, take at least half an hour out of your day and sit there and read your bible and listen... it works its hard but it does sound alittle weird but it works..
God does have significance and purpose planned for your life. Perhaps this is just your desert time. Everyone of significance has to pass through the desert before stepping into their calling, even Jesus. When David was running for his life from Saul and hiding in caves, it didn't seem likely that he would one day be king. When Joseph was in prison in Egypt it didn't seem very likely that he would ever rise to a position of honor and authority. Even though your life might seem aimless now, this is actually such a crucial and necessary time in your life. It is in the desert that God refines us and purifies our desire and vision. It is in the desert that we learn to listen for God in the silence and wait to hear His voice. As long as you maintain a relationship with God through prayer and the Bible, you'll hear him when He calls you. When the time is right He'll open up doors of opportunity and He'll put the right desires and ambitions in Your heart. Jesus said that his sheep know his voice and follow it. His sheep don't follow the voice of a stranger. He will be your Good Shepherd and you'll know his voice when you hear it.
Christine,
This is your auntie who loves you. Your mom sent me your blog address and as I read it for the first time today, I cried. I have prayed for you for so long. Sometime, when and if you would like to know, I will tell you some of the ways that I have asked God to touch your life. He is.
Christine, you have a writing gift. How would God have you use that gift?
I do hope to connect soon. I am frustrated by the limitations of time and distance in connecting with the people that I care about
I think you should update this more often. Just one man's opinion.
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