Down At Your Feet

Today I felt overwhelmed by my dependence on God. When you wander far, and He calls you back, you can't help but fall at His feet. I mean really fall. Just because you know how insignificant and incapable you are of being anything without Him. Just because He holds your whole life in His hands.

Today I fell. I just couldn't stand anymore in the knowledge of the holiness and righteousness and awe and beauty of my God. I fell right onto the floor with my arms outstretched. It must be a mystery why independence vanishes when you're lying down. If I stand, I feel like I can do it on my own. If I lay down, God has control of the whole world while I lay there helpless. And it's just how it should be.

Today I cried. Because I realized how much I want God to have of my life and how much I want to be holy and blameless in His sight. More than anything. More than having love. More than being touched. More than anything.

'The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice.
Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side.
His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the LORD , before the Lord of all the earth.
The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory.'
Psalm 97:1-6

Amen

No Ocean Deep Enough

This morning I read the words to a song that I love. I love it because the first line is 'have you any idea how beautiful you are...' I didn't realize that it was a song from God to me. From God to you. This is my gift to you. Immerse yourself in what God has to say.

Have you any idea how beautiful you are...
That in a million years I could not love you more
Like the sun can only shine so bright in the auburn sky
And you will never be abandoned
I will never leave you stranded
I would die to find a way to reach you...
There is no ocean deep enough
No mountain high or steep enough
To keep me away- keep me away from you
There is no highway long enough
No river wide or strong enough
To keep me away- keep me away from you
When are you gonna believe like I believe in you?
If love is a lie then there is no truth
So I'll hang it all on the wire and follow you anywhere
And you don't have to be lonely
Or look very hard to find me
I'll be walking on your stormy sea
I know you're feeling lost sometimes
I know you're losing sleep at night
And faith is hard to find
And prayers are crashing to the floor
And you wonder what you're praying for...

Buon Giorno

Alot has been happening lately. I've made huge leaps in understanding love and showing love. I feel that a bit more of me is free.

I just got back from a few days in Calgary with Beth. I had a really good time with my aunt and seeing the city. I finally got to drive around a bit and experience big city life. I learned how to make drumstick cake...
I made a conscious choice to love someone when I really didn't feel like it, and that's a big step for me. It feels good to do something right. I can't say that I'd change much about the trip. I won a free drink from Starbucks for knowing that Rufus Wainwright sang 'Hallelujah' on the Shrek soundtrack. I got to see a beautiful church. Mostly though I just realized that I missed being home. If you're reading this, I missed you. I wanted to share things with you- and so I want you to know that you're special.

I've decided to move. I'm growing more excited about it and I feel that God has really blessed me in this decision. I hope you can come to my new house when I move in.

And so, because I have alot to do, I will leave you with a few quotes from the road, literally.

• 'It helps if you go fast over the bumps.'
• 'Oil on the bottom, cinnamon bun on the top.'
• 'There’s open road like nobody’s business.'
• 'Hitting things works more often than you realize.'
• (while passing) 'I can’t see anything.'
• 'I wonder where the keys are.'
• 'It’s so refreshing to see live mammals.'
• '..Diana Ross kissed him on the lips. Poor Stevie, he didn’t even see it coming.'

*love*