standing

I have been searching lately for the reason why I want to be a follower of Jesus. I don't know right now. So much of faith has been obscured by the life I'm living. I wonder what the point of it all is.
I ask the questions that I need answers to. I wait for answers.
Tonight I'm going to an evening event designed to increase awareness and fundraise for women in the Congo who have been brutally raped and abused and are invisible to much of the world. The things that happen to these women are so horrid that I can't even believe that we are allowed to print the words in a magazine. I can do so little.
I realize in my unbelief that faced with this reality of women in the Congo, Jesus is one person who won't stand for it. He asks us to stand up and face the truth and he doesn't give us so many reasons why it can be ignored. That's something I need to sit with. Who else sets enough of an example that we should follow them? Who else really cares for these women apart from a sociological, political, human rights perspective?
I've been watching too much tv. Too many episodes of Friends, House and CSI. Who cares about that when there are women being blown apart because a soldier wants to exercise power and destroy their soul, all for the fun of it?